Everyone in this business has a handful of calls that stick with them. That one domestic, or that little kid in the pool, or the kidnapped teen, or the thousands of other calls for service we receive.
We all do. We don't often talk about them. Some have more than others. Happens to both sides of the radio. Whether we were there physically, or there on the line having to listen without being able to respond physically - we all have them.
But, recently, I've had one pop back into my head, except I can't recall details that I thought I'd never be able to forget. Her name. His name. Her exact words, anything. It all used to be so clear to recall. It felt like yesterday for many, many yesterdays. It's like I remember the plot synopsis, but nothing else. I can remember exactly what position I was sitting at, what I was wearing, what I had for lunch that day, but the *important* stuff I cannot recall.
And it's kind of bugging me. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Happy that this terrible call no longer plays in its entirety in my head? Sad that I've forgotten this poor woman's name? Slightly apathetic because it was handled and done with - on to the next?
I don't know. I don't know if I want to know or recall it all, or why my brain won't let it go entirely, only some parts.
I just don't know.