Some of my fantastic followers have asked me what I've been up to, since I've had a drop in activity on Twitter.

If you've been around here for a while, you've seen some of my rants about low morale, excessive overtime, and generally poor working conditions over the last year or so.
It's gotten to a low recently that I didn't know my center could reach.

So this is a time of heavy contemplation for me. I have many options available to me, and it's just time for me to take a step back, and figure out what is going to be best for me. Will this mean a change in my online presence? Possibly. Probably, actually.
But I'm still figuring everything out. I'm taking time to spend by myself, with my family, with my friends, and make the decision that will be the best for me right now.

I know all you lovely people are going to support me, no matter what I end up choosing to do. I'm still around, I still see your tweets and blogs, and I appreciate you all.

The training cycle for my department for dispatchers is pretty long in comparison to some other departments. You're hired, sent to the academy, come back to the center, and are in training for three-ish months. Then you go back to the academy for a bit, and are back in training at the center for three to four months. During each time after the academy, you're with the dispatch equivalent of an FTO (field training officer). I had 7 different FTOs over my training. You learn how to do the job, yes, but you also learn a little bit of their style and adopt bits and pieces that stick with you.

I had one trainer who had a "crutch phrase."

"Do me a favor..."
EVERYTHING was a favor. "Do me a favor and ask the RP (caller) where this happened."
Is that a favor? No. "Do me a favor and give that call to this unit instead." AGAIN - NOT A FAVOR.


Some crutch phrases are less noticeable, or less annoying. One of my officers routinely uses "oh okay, cool cool" in response to most things. That one, you don't notice so much. Sometimes, I wonder if the crutch phrase perpetrators even know that they are saying these things ALL. THE. TIME.



Watching LivePD the other day, and there's an officer that said "I got'chu" every fifth word. Sounds ridiculous.


​No real point to this. But do me a favor and stick around for another post?

It's been a rough week.

It started with a hit in my personal life on my Sunday, then a storm they named "Lucifer" as a little 1-2 punch on my Monday and Tuesday - which made my shifts long in feel & actual length, and busier than they've been in a long while.

This week, for some reason, I've had a lot of death calls. People finding their loved ones that have passed. Suicides. Fatal traffic collisions. Hearing the impact over the phone of a vehicle hitting a pedestrian at high speeds. Calls that stick with someone for a while, and forces them to draw parallels with the worst of the worst calls they've had in their career. Usually these calls get these spaced out, so dealing with one of "The Top 5" all in the same week, doesn't happen.

A lot of us in the field make jokes about how we don't have souls. I even made this joke on my Twitter just 12 hours ago.
But I'll let you in on a little secret.
We do still have our souls.
And another truth? These calls - these terrible things that we hear and deal with on a daily basis - they impact us more than we let on. Most days we process and purge. Everyone does it a little differently, but we do it to survive and to be able to go back the next day and do it again. We go about life and work as if everything is status quo. Cause that is what's easy. You don't have to deal if you push it down.
And maybe it's because I had a chink in my armor already at the beginning of the week, but it seems to hurt more this week. Having a harder time with the smile and nod. One more work day for me this week, before a day off, then back to the minimum-14-hr-a-shift grind for another long stretch. So I'm gonna work on me a bit for a few days.

I hope this serves as a little reminder for those of us in the business to check on your beat partners from time to time. Not only the ones that are struggling, but the ones that have on the happy face and jolly disposition. They're impacted by this all the same.And for those of you that aren't in emergency services, take the same message away. Because most likely, just like me, there's people in your life that would say the same as I:

It's been a rough week.

There's one 911 call that I think about almost every Valentine's Day.

I feel like it was just yesterday... on a graves shift. 911 line drops into my ear, and it's an elderly woman that was by herself, who needed paramedics. Something that happens multiple times a shift.

But this woman... was different.

She didn't have shortness of breath, or chest pain, or pain from a fall. None of the "normal" chief complaints for elderly women.

She had a very deep cut. On her leg. From a metal lid. That came from a can OF CAT FOOD.


I WAS TALKING TO FUTURE DAME. ME!

​Only appropriate I think of this call on this wonderful holiday. Cheers, future me. Cheers.

Dame: "911 emergency, what is your life threatening emergency?"
Caller: "MY POWER WENT OUT!"
Dame: "...okay, do you have a life threatening emergency? Have you contacted your power company?"
Caller: "MY. POWER. WENT. OUT! I called YOU!"
Dame: "I understand you lost power. Do you rely on a ventilator or other life-maintaining device that relies on power from the electrical grid?"
Caller: "...no."
Dame: "Okay, so you do not have a life threatening emergency then?"
Caller: "Well, you NEED to DO something ABOUT it!"
Dame: "What do you think 911 can do about your power? A police officer to come out and say 'Yep. Power's out.'? A fireman to climb up the electrical pole?"
Caller: "..."
Dame: "Okay, well while you are calling your power company, I'm going to go ahead and clear the line for real, actual life-or-death emergencies. Buh-bye."


Most people know this notion -
Need help? Call 911!

We've all seen the feel-good news clips where the grade-school kid calls 911 for help with the math homework.

But it should be this -
Have an actual emergency? Call 911!

If there is something urgent that a policeman or firefighter can do for you, then please call. If that is the case, then yes, I do have the power to send one of the two. Actual electricity power? Sad to say, I don't have that to give.

Back in August, Within The Trenches started the #IAM911 movement on social media in hopes to bring awareness and assist NENA and APCO International in the effort to change our classification from clerical work to protected work. Ricardo did this to highlight how very different emergency dispatchers are different from clerical staff and commercial dispatchers. To show that the responsibility that each of us emergency dispatchers carry with every call and radio transmission.
And it took off. Facebook, Twitter... it was widespread and even other countries joined in and shared their stories. Reading through the hashtag on twitter is so moving, even with me being an emergency dispatcher and living the life.

There have been a select few that say that what we are doing is putting down clerical work. We aren't. We're just trying to show how different it is.
Before I was a dispatcher, I was in administrative/clerical work for years - and all kinds of clerical work. Data entry to registrar, administrative assistant to receptionist. It was hard work. Stressful, even, some days. But it has no comparison to what I do now.

Having emergency dispatchers from all around share their stories is fantastic. But there's another thing that we need everyone to do. Wether you are an emergency dispatcher or a not, it's your turn to help us. 

APCO International has made it very easy to send your message and take action. A couple minutes of your time. Today. The #IAM911 movement will still continue, but the OMB is only accepting public comments through tomorrow.

Emergency dispatchers help countless people every shift, without knowing who they are and without prejudice. Now we need your help.

It's been a week since I posted the giveaway for having hit 3,000 followers - something I still cannot believe has happened.

ALL OF YOU ARE CRAZY BUT I LOVE YOU!

Anyway, I'm sure you're only visiting today to see who won the giveaway!

Thanks to random.org, the winner is...
​
@oopsudroppedths

Congratulations, Sheila!  I'll be emailing you in a bit with your prize!

For everyone else, better luck next time, and take a little gander around the blog! See you all on Twitter!

Oh, Friday. How every person in the working world awaits your arrival. I know I do. Except, like most of the juniors in emergency services, calendar Friday does not mean two days of rest are to follow. Friday is my second work day of four. My end-of-week-Friday falls on Sunday.
If anything, it makes it more sweet when it does come for us.

This one particular Friday, I had worked something like thirty overtime hours that week and was very excited to get home and sleep, without the need for an alarm to go off the next day to wake me up for anything. So I watched the clock all shift, and when 2am hit, I was out of there. Made it home, started cooking "dinner," and finally nestled into bed, with my kitties nestled up with me. Turned the lights off, then took a nice deep breath to start my journey into dreamland.

Aaaaaaaand then my smoke alarm goes off.

Yep. That sounds about right.


Don't forget to change the batteries and test your smoke alarms regularly, people. They save lives.

Just got home from shift, and it's now September 11th, fifteen years after that terrible day in 2001.
As I'm writing this, it's 4:57 am Pacific Time, only mere minutes after the first plane hit the WTC years ago. Just like most reading this, American or not, you remember where you were when you either first heard or first saw on TV what was going on. Those of us on the west coast were waking up to these images of the mayhem and chaos.
It's hard to believe that was fifteen years ago.
It's been fifteen years since the 2,996 died between the three sites - including the 415 first responders.
Fifteen years since the nation bonded together so strongly. United we stood.

It's a difficult day every year, for many people. For the families of those lost on that day. For those that suffered years after from injuries sustained on that day. For the servicemen and women that watched what was going on, knowing it probably meant their futures changed, and that some of them won't be coming home fighting for our nation. For their families. For the first responders in New York, PA, and D.C. as not only do they remember, but also stand to be extra vigilant on this day every year.

I also would be remiss not to mention the dispatchers and operators working on that tragic day. When I started this job, there was an entire day at the academy listening to 911 tapes from 9/11 as well as a few other tragedies. That was the hardest day at the academy for me. The dispatchers that were taking the initial 911 calls of a plane hitting a skyscraper. How ridiculous that must have sounded on the first call. Then as more come in, how they started to piece together what was going on, miles away, as they were in a windowless room with phones ringing off the hook. Then calls from people trapped in the towers, not knowing what had happened or the gravity of the events. Calls from frightened family of those that worked in the towers. Calls from people on hijacked planes. And all the while, they knew that they had a job to do, and that they couldn't "feel" right now, that they had to keep going. How difficult that day would have been for them, and the days after, finally allowing themselves to process their experience from that day. I hope they were able to.

So as I go to bed now, I offer up a prayer and gratitude.
A prayer for those souls lost on that day, and for their families and friends.
For all those in the military, both past and present. For their great sacrifices for our freedom. For the military families and the different kind of sacrifices they make.
For first responders in NY, PA, & D.C. For having the courage in the face of uncertainty to run towards what everyone else was running from. For first responders everywhere, for choosing to keep the Homefront safe every single day, putting on the gear and kissing their kiddos goodbye, with the thought somewhere in the back of their heads that something like that could happen again, and could happen 'here,' and that they'd run towards still.
For my fellow dispatchers. Every next call could be what we hope to never have on our line. Thanks for every day that our officers and crews go home safely.
And one for our nation. Two for our nation. May we never forget and remember to love each other, help each other, and get through this day together, as well as the next with grace, caring, and understanding.
Bring peace, Lord, to the worried.
Bring calm, Lord, to the stressed.
Bring hope, Lord, to the downcast.
And to the tired, Lord, grant them rest.
Amen.

As someone who is a professional communicator, you'd think I'd rarely be without words.

But I am without words now. I cannot believe that I have reached three thousand followers on mytwitter account. It's something that I never dreamed of. I am so grateful for each and every one of my followers, even though I still doubt why people follow me, especially when I goof up when I'm under the influence of sleeping pills and tweet out gems like this unintentionally, only to wake up and find people have liked and replied to it. Y'all are the real MVPs.

But anyway, to help me celebrate, I'm running my very first ever GIVEAWAY! You have the chance to win a $50 Amazon gift card that you can use to buy Haagan Dazs or, I guess, whatever else your heart desires as long as it's on Amazon. Mine always desires some Vanilla Swiss Almond, but you know, to each their own.

Like I said before, I have never done a giveaway before, so I hope I don't mess this up! Giveaway will be open from 9/9/16 at midnight EST through 9/16/16 at midnight EST. To enter, leave me your email (that way I know where to send the prize!), follow me on twitter, or tweet about the giveaway!

Good luck, lovely followers!

​Today, there's been dispatchers and call takers tweeting their experiences using the hashtag "#IAM911."

It's a reality that we all face, day in and day out, that the vast majority of the general public has no idea about, or would even think about. Even some of our brothers and sisters in other emergency services don't know all that we hear or experience.

We, dispatchers and call takers, don't do it for the glory, or the recognition, and certainly not for the peanuts that they pay us. We don't do it for the thanks or awards. We do it for the public. For our family. Because we can. Because we know that we are the exact person with the exact skills that you need at that exact, terrifying moment.

We make take hundreds or thousands of calls, but we don't forget. We remember. We remember the fear in your voice as someone is breaking into your house. The panic when you find your child who has hung themselves in the closet. The uncertainty when you were just in a bad car accident. The desperation in your voice when your terminally ill spouse has taken a turn for the worse. We remember. After some time, we may not remember your name, or your address, or the details of the call, but we still remember. Maybe more than you do.

There's a reason why dispatchers and call takers burn out. Why the PTSD rates are staggering in the profession. Why so many just throw up their hands, take off their headsets, and never return.

So as much as this hashtag is an eye-opener for the public, let this also be a bonding moment for all of us. We may have our differences, being a "state-y" or PD or county, but we all are hand in hand in this particular struggle. Let's use this to support each other. To back up your fellow dispatch beat partner. Get help if you need it. What we hear and deal with on a day to day basis is complicated, difficult, and worthy of talking to someone about.
Lean on each other. Let others lean on you.
Take care of yourselves.

I posted on July 8th - only 9 days ago - that I didn't have the words to express all of the emotions I was feeling after the police officers in Dallas were murdered solely for being Blue.

Today is the same. Except more anger. But still sadness. And other things that I still can't express.

It's terrible that not even a week passes, and I could re-post the same and substitute the five officers killed with three killed, and switch the cities. It's atrocious. 

My friend, @NoFilter911 tweeted about how they jokingly call the dispatch floor "the war room," as did I, and how now it's gone from a humorous nom de guerre to a serious reality. The old reality was that it was a war room because of the 'old-school' vs 'new school' dispatchers at "war" with each other. Now it's because when each unit goes on duty from briefing, it's because they are heading into a war zone. Every day officers are put in dangerous situations as is the nature of the job. But now they have to worry about being ambushed at every minute, on every call, on the way to court, while grabbing lunch, refueling their patrol vehicles, helping the lost child find their way home.

It's unacceptable. It's becoming increasingly harder, day after day, to sit where I sit, and send my officers into battle every single shift. I will do everything that I can from behind the console to keep my guys safe, but I still fear that is not enough. I'll hold onto my faith and hope that brighter days are ahead. That after the times of tribulation will be times of jubilation, and that it comes promptly. For the sake of my officers, your officers, their families, your families, our communities, our nation.

Once again.

Heavenly Father,

We are in pain. We are hurting. We ask for your comfort, and we ask for your peace. 
We ask that you watch over us, as we watch over our communities.
We ask you for grace and compassion with those that we come in contact with, both on-duty and off.
You are our strength. We will hold on to you, so others can too. 
Give us wisdom to see through our tears and these dark days.

Amen.

All dispatchers probably have the same least favorite phrase:

"It's not an emergency, BUT..."

It's so annoying. It's BEYOND annoying.

But there's something else that bothers me. When callers tell me what is going to happen in the future...
- "If a motorcyclist hits that ladder in the roadway... It's going to be catastrophic!"
- "You better catch this reckless driver.... He's gonna kill someone!"

Okay, I get it. Whatever they are reporting is obviously important and has potential for disaster. But for most of them, it's - at best - a guess about a possible outcome based off of their nightly viewing of Law and Order or that one episode of NYPD Blue, or even better, Adam-12. Not something that they've actually seen or experienced in real life.
Those things they conjure up? We deal with it ALL THE TIME. Not watch it on the nightly news, or the episode of Third Watch. We deal with the aftermath, the talking to the carjacking victim's son after the victim was stabbed. Or the drunk driver who kills a car full of teenagers.

I don't need Ricky Rescue Passerby to tell me the possible outcomes in his vast imagination when I deal in reality.

So callers. I plead with you - nay - all emergency dispatchers/operators plead with you. Please just answer the questions we ask and leave the pleasantries and conjecture for someone else. Thank you.

Well, another day has passed and I still don't know what to say.

Still sad, Still broken.

At this point, I'm not sure that I will know what to say. How to properly articulate it all. But I don't have to. I've gotten so many replies and comments from others in my profession saying that they are feeling the same way and don't know what to say either.

I said this on my Twitter account, but I'll say it here:
This thin gold line will stand behind the thin blue line all night, every night, every day, and will do everything I can to support my blue brothers and sisters.
My heart is still broken. It's broken for the five Dallas officers and their families - blood and blue.
Broken for the 53 other officers that have lost their lives in the line of duty this year alone.


But I think that they would all want the rest of us to continue holding the line, and fighting the good fight. Good will prevail. 

So I will. We will.

In their honor, we will continue on, and serve our communities and keep the good safe from the bad that exists.

So now, officers - keep your heads on a swivel, watch the hands, and check on your beat partners.
Dispatchers - status check that officer, be gracious especially when it's most difficult to, and answer that phone with a smile.
Citizens - be kind to one another.

Remember, revere, and resume radio traffic.